[

Current Mood

|

pleased

]

*big grin*


I went in and saw him again today. We talked for about 5 minutes, mostly about philosophy and school. I then ordered a book and he looked me up on the computer and pronounced my whole name correctly. So amazing. No one does that. He then asked for my email and said he'd contact me when the book came in.

Normally, a customer gets an automated message.

But this one just may be better than, "Your book is in!"

So once I get the email, I'll have to go back to pick it up. And then, I'll see about that coffee date.

[

Current Mood

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content

]

I went to Barnes and Noble to pick up a book for school, but couldn't find the philosophy section, so I asked this really cute guy at the help desk to find it for me. He seemed impressed that I wanted to read something by Nagel, so he quickly walked me over to where it'd be. After searching for a few moments, I squealed, "Ooh!" and dashed to get it before he could. He laughed and said, "I was almost there! I was just a few books away." 
I grinned like a fool and thanked him, and he grinned back. 
Beat. 
He blinked and then replied, "Hey, no problem. Can I get you anything else?"

Thoughts in my mind:
Some coffee?
Your number?
Whatever you use on your brilliantly white teeth?

"Nah," I said.




I'm a damn fool.
But, darn it all, I just might have to visit again. We all know how much I loathe bookstores. :B


AND SCHOOL WAS AMAZING TODAY!

[	Current Mood	|	excited	]
[	Current Music	|	joshua radin	]

i go back "home" tomorrow.
i've missed school so much.

[	Current Location	|	the dark	]
[	Current Mood	|	contemplative	]
[	Current Music	|	silence, for once today	]

Before I go to bed and arise at the ungodly hour of 5 a.m. tomorrow for yoga class, I thought it would be best to release some more tension. It seems the less I speak--or write--the worse my body's condition becomes. Eventually, I am tight as a bow and even the most lovely arrows cannot bend me.

I went to see "Becoming Jane" with Stephanie today. She was unusually bright, and I too became talkative and started telling her how I was feeling. It was quite humorous though, because most of my concerns were highlighted in the film. She turned to me a few minutes into the movie, and whispered with laughter in her voice, "My God, Chelsea, that's you."

Wonderful. I am the prideful Jane Austen who ended up alone and only poured herself into her writing...losing the only love of her life. Sounds like a happy ending. And as bittersweet as the movie was, I enjoyed the language. It's been awhile since I've really had to listen in order to grasp dialogue. My mind started buzzing and I felt it warm up for this semester. All of my classes center around language: Expository composition, interpersonal communication, philosophy on ethics, and Shakespeare (yes, another...I couldn't get enough in high school, apparently). I am such a nerd for words.

I feel myself changing in almost every way. My personality is showing a little bit more. I'm speaking my mind without using my acidic tongue. My body is becoming strong and leaner; I can almost completely lift my whole body off the ground into a hover-plank with just my hands. Something big is coming. This is going to be a big year. The air is ominous. I'm embracing the change, even though it's not fully here yet. Everyday, I notice myself becoming a little more ready.

I just wish I knew what for.

[	Current Mood	|	melancholy	]
[	Current Music	|	Rocky Votolato	]

Have I ever felt anymore foolish or completely disconnected? I can't blame this on my lack of sleep anymore. A cloak of emptiness smothers me in the stifling heat. I either feel nothing or everything, and I can't figure which is worse.

we crashed and touched down,
breathless, faceless,
filled with so much emptiness.
you pulled me in
and we soared again,
and i left this anxious ambition behind me.
i have heard your voice
and it never stops haunting.
the laugh of a dreamer,
and a sigh on my behalf.
so great to dream forever
when the start will never come.
we encircle and collide
and live less than side by side.
and something's always, always wrong.
like my shadow is my opposite,
you hover uneven.
eclipse me just for now
and i will taste you.
bittersweet embrace.
only a moment...
but that's all we've ever really had.